Saturday, March 6, 2010

How to Fix the Canadian Anthem

The Governor General in her throne speech this past week said the national anthem needs a shakeup. For those not up on all things Canadian, we have more going on than beavers and police garbed in red serge (stetson optional - really). Canadians actually have a Governor General, Her Majesty Elizabeth (that's the Queen) the Second's vice-regal representative to bring national attention to and get the gears moving in clearing up important matters like an offensive word in the national anthem - O Canada. Too bad somebody didn't think to run the Olympics closing ceremony past the GG for a regal shakeout there. Being Canadian, I thought I would be helpful and save us some big bucks, bypassing inevitable commissions and committees to fix that offending word, "sons." Leave the offensive word in and re-educate...say...every Hockey Night in Canada broadcast. That should just about cover anybody who listens to O Canada on a regular basis anyhow. "Sons" or "son" can refer to anyone rightly holding Canadian citizenship. The context and usage in the anthem refers to station or position, not gender. It's sort of like calling a woman Governor General.
Failing remediation, the second option is replace the word "sons" keeping in mind poetic license and rhythm. Fun suggested "homies" but it and ubiquitous "persons" won't work. It needs a single syllable and "citizens" sounds socialist. Never mind that we are.
Peeps.
Peeps would work.

O Canada,
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy peeps command...

Now, is there anything else that needs taking care of?
Pushing pause again.

10 comments:

Adeena said...

Peeps. :D

That's awesome.

We were astounded at the ridiculousness. Glad they decided that it's fine the way it is. :)

Martine said...

You made my morning - Peeps! I am still giggling.

Angie said...

I did enjoy reading this! Hilarious. If everyone starts practising now they should just about have it word perfect !for over here in 2012

Jeanne said...

Love and hugs

Leila said...

Laugh. out. loud.

"It's sort of like calling a woman Governor General."

A good Monday morning giggle for me!

Anonymous said...

Oh that's wonderful! I will never hear or sing the anthem in future without thinking of your post.

I hate to admit it, but I'm old enough to remember when "God save the Queen" was replaced by "O Canada", and the Maple Leaf flag replaced the old Union Jack.

My dad and grandfather both wondered aloud how a flag which had two red borders could symbolize a country bordered by two blue oceans? They thought the flag looked like a yacht burgee, but personally, I like it. It's distinctive and different. As is "O Canada."

Canadian Chickadee

Decadent Housewife said...

Chickadee,
My dad thought the same thing;

"A red leaf is a DEAD leaf - it should be green with blue borders for the oceans."

And I grew up singing God Save the Queen too.

Richard D said...

I was pulling for "dudes," but I guess that implies maleness too. I like "peeps," but it sounds too much like that super sweet marshmallow treat people eat at Easter. If a few extra syllables wouldn't be too bothersome, perhaps they could go with: "grammar, syntax, and word definition impaired folks of all sexes, races, creeds, and colors who have been adversely impacted by the poor English education offered in public schools."

Decadent Housewife said...

Thank you Richard for reading between the lines. BTW, you spelled colors wrong. ;)

Richard D said...

LOL - I need to remember that you Canadians use a different dictionary than we 'merikans. I left my Canadian/American Phrase Book in the boot of my car and don't particularly want to go oot to get it, eh? But it might cause me trouble anyway seeing as the entire section from "T" to "Zed" is missing.