Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My 2009 Highlight

Some might expect that the highlight of this past year would be a family wedding and it was. But something else happened quite unexpected wherein I was blessed to get to know a very, very interesting person. This was someone about whom I had been told negative things all my life. The telephone rang one day and suddenly we found ourselves thrust into each others lives. Just like that.

The more time I spent with this person, listened, began asking questions - the more I realized discrepancies with what I thought was true. "You know, this isn't what I've been told all these years," I said to someone close to the situation. "Yes. I know, they replied. I was stunned. "Not everything is as it appears," I mentioned to two others. "Yes. We know." And it shook me to my core to realize that I had been misled by those so close, so trusted. Why would they do that?

So many things came to mind as I thought back over the years.
1. Never assume anything.
2. It's a bad idea to make a judgment based on appearances.
3. Making judgments based on feelings is bad altogether.
4. One really doesn't know much about anything unless they were there or ask all involved.

I'm glad the phone rang that morning. It brought some terrible heartache but greater joy. I have gained an incredible friend.


Mental P Mama said...

What a beautiful story;) And so, so true.

Anonymous said...

Such a lovely blog and perfect for starting out the new year.

It's advice I wish I'd heard and heeded some years ago when I got myself into a terrible mess which nearly ruined my marriage and my life. I was backed into a corner, and no one else would say anything in my defense to my husband's sister about her behaviour towards me so I finally talked back.

But doing so was a terrible mistake. I think that what I told her, while absolutely true, was so alien to her self-opinion she couldn't accept that it might be true. Therefore I was lying, and she proceeded to make my life even more of a misery thereafter.

Even though she died three years ago and the situation is never mentioned, I am still trying to deal with the resulting guilt.

So if you feel you need exercise, don't jump to conclusions, take a walk instead! :0)

Canadian Chickadee

GooseBreeder said...

How very true.It was an amazing year for discovering new truths,new relatives and new learning.Happy New Year!

Jeanne said...

A wise woman once said
if you are too busy judging a person
you have no time to love them.

Love you

Happy New year♥

Richard D said...

Happy New Year, Decadent.

Thank you for relating this story. False accusations abound in our world. I have found myself both the target of false accusations and the person who relates a false accusation to others. And perhaps the lesson I need to learn most is that I need to make sure I know the truth of an accusation before passing it along to others. Perhaps the reason it happened to me was to wake me up to that lesson.

Decadent Housewife said...

Seems we've all been there, done that.

I've learned to set boundaries and just walk away. Be polite, but let them say what they want. Sometime ago a situation came up which clearly showed the individual did not understand and did not wish to understand. I thought and prayed about it a few days and in my reading was directed to a bible verse which said, "leave them to their delusion."

If somebody doesn't ask me - actually format their words in a question - but rather makes accusations, I just let them accuse away, because really, they aren't interested in hearing or making or judging things right, if they don't come with an attitude of honest inquiry.

Life's too short to be wasted trying to set it all straight. What I really despise, is having been deceived about someone else.

Barb said...

I found your blog via Like Mother, Like Daughter and ran across this post. Funny how your story, briefly outlined, mirrors my own with my father. I think it speaks well of my father that he has let his actions speak louder than his words instead of defending himself against my mom. I do regret the time we've lost, but I'm making the most of the time ahead of us.

Decadent Housewife said...


Thank you for stopping by. Wonderful to hear how you are redeeming the time.