Seems four boys - two Stephens, a Jack and a Gilles are cranking out the pages for themselves in Canadian history books with their antics on Parliament Hill. Mom, I mean...Governor General Michaelle Jean now has to come home to put the house in order again. And where's babysitter Elizabeth May when we need her? She'd get those boys cleaned up...with a recycled biodegradable detergent bottle, or two. Or is she jumping on the bed too? How could four little monkeys create such upheaval? Don't they know that when Mom leaves Town they are supposed to just party but not destroy the house? Two Stephens, a Jack and a Gilles. Just wait till your father gets home! I mean mother.
Gee. I dunno. I'm only the mom of four boys. Sure, messes happen. When they were little, the dishes are always rattling in the cupboards. But they don't rise up to defeat one another. They don't necessarily like each other all the time. They squabble. They occasionally gang up on one another. But in the end, they know we are family and they stick together especially when times are tough. They are usually pretty good at fixing the stuff they break and they cover for each other too when they need to.
Like the time Speedy and Violinist were fighting over a fillet knife and Speedy pulled the knife out of Violinist's hand, slicing open his instrument hand. And Speedy sped inside shouting, "MOM, VIOLINIST IS THROWING UP!" And I sauntered outside to find Violinist pale as a sheet, throwing up indeed but also holding a profusely bleeding hand to which I said, "What's this?" Upon which Buff and Fun thrust a carburetor into my face, "He was trying to clean it!" Recently they confessed the truth. There was no carburetor. Violinist was not cleaning a carburetor with a fillet knife. Noooooo. They thought better. Imagine the mess had I known the truth. Imagine the mess if I'd rushed vomiting profusely bleeding Violinist into emergency reporting, "He and his brother were fighting over a fillet knife. I was unavailable inside the house, uh, buried under some laundry...reading a trashy novel...I think...I can't remember. Look! Are his tendons okay?!? Never mind how it happened. It happened. Are his tendons okay?!"
Instead, this is what happened. "Hi. I have a boy here who thinks that fillet knives are suitable tools for cleaning carburetors. His dutiful brothers warned him not to be so stupid and one of them even ran inside to fetch me, but too late. He's filleted his instrument hand. I've tourniqueted everything I think is important. Thank God it's not his bow hand. Are his tendons okay?!? Are his tendons okay?!?" Upon which the attending nurse, nodded and smiled,"I remember GG from high school. Same thing. Always something happening." And the smirking physician sewing Violinist up added, "My brother and I did a fillet knife thing and with a carburetor too, when I was fifteen. Ha ha ha."
So, it remains to be seen what the Mom/Governor General will do with four very naughty boys. How will this family dispute get settled? A lot of us want to know. Like, a lot of us who just finished electing a government, like back on October 14th? What will Stephen Harper, the man with more kittens than the usual strays he takes in, do to smooth things over? What will the other Stephen, and Jack and Gilles do? Will they take us all for a tumble down the hill with them? Will we have to wait until January for the next episode? Will we get to have another election? Or will the Governor General do the MOM thing and tell them to quit goofing around and get back to work or she'll start throwing out detentions like they do at Buff's high school? Gee, and I was looking forward to a long dull winter.
Words and Phrases - To Spend a Penny
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