Elections Canada Rules!

This arrived today. “New identification rules to vote!” Now are they shouting at me or just, clear-the-throat announcing, or are they actually excited about this? Or maybe this is just Elections Canada’s way of saying, “NEW IMPROVED ELECTION RULES! More powerful, more confusing.” Actually, this is what really grabbed my attention: “WHEN YOU VOTE, YOU MUST PROVE YOUR IDENTITY AND ADDRESS”. Really? This hasn’t been necessary before now? Really. It hasn’t.

No more, traipsing into the local school gymnasium to be greeted with, “Hi, how are you? How’s Violinist? And what’s he up to? Has he quit school yet? Gee you’re not on here, oh, that’s okay, we know who you are. Is Speedy coming in? Here’s your ballot.” And I have never seen this person in my entire life. So I stand there wondering who this polling officer is who says she knows me and knows Speedy and knows about Violinist’s educational escapades. And why does the other polling officer leaning into her right elbow, a man, whom I have also never seen in my entire life, keep grinning at me and nodding his head up and down?

Now I will have to arrive at the polling station and it will be all business. How dull. ..Elections Canada. I shall now heretofore have to produce a) “one original piece of identification”, b) two original pieces of identification or c) swear an oath and be vouched for by an elector who can be a neighbour or a roommate.

GG to polling officer, “I swear, this is Decadent Housewife, I should know, I’ve lived with her decadence for near twenty-five years.” Decadent Housewife to polling officer, “I swear, this is Geek Guy. See…there’s his pocket protector.”